trying

Isn't it interesting that the word Trying can mean both:

I'm trying so hard
What a trying week.

Well, it's been both of those. Jason LOVES his new job, but the integration into the position takes many hours, and allot of learning. It's overwhelming him I think. I think he just wants to do the job....but there is all this Training stuff to do. Intense Training. Learn this program...learn that program. And I mean LEARN. They want him to know it so well that he can teach the students in the High Schools he'll be dealing with! Crazy. Jason hasn't found computers as compelling as I have...so allot of this is new. He's a quick study, however, it's allot to do when you haven't been a student for a long long time! He has STACKS of files on his desk he needs to familiarize himself with. (Stacks, like in a comic. A couple feet high!)

He was in his office all day today. He's technically home (since his office is here) but he's not here. The door is closed. It's quiet, the kids know that the office is off-limits. He's at work. Period. I miss him. Tonight he worked another 2 hours. He's so committed. I'm so proud of him. Is that okay to say? I don't want to sound like a Mother. But I look at him, and I'm so thrilled with who he is, and the fact that he went out and got this job. No connections....not thru a friend....he applied and out of dozens of people...they chose him. I'm proud of him for that. I know after this initial time of learning, he'll fall into the swing of it. And so will I. I feel like I'm failing those around us...because I'm having to release Jason to work, while I become busier with doing allot more stuff by myself. (Jason used to do the grocery shopping…let me tell you, that’s a challenge with two little kids!) My new responsibilities mean not allot of time for others. On the other hand, I have allot more time to pray....and I've actually had more time to spend in the word lately. Weird how that works. My children much on their cheerios and fruit, and I steal away on the couch and read as far as I can before I'm needed again.

We'll have to adjust our lives in the future. August, September and October are very very busy times. I'll not see him allot. I know NOW why I felt so strongly about stopping teaching this year. I felt it before he got this job...and now I know why! I'd have no TIME! My time is with and for my children, and supporting Jason. Oooo...that sounds so Stepford! haha (I just saw that movie tonight!) But I feel a real peace about it all.

God is bringing up some stuff in my life lately. It's all good (I'm assuming!), because in my experience, He tends to have a plan in it all. There are tons of 'issues' surrounding me right now. Separation of different kinds. Three close friends moving away....another possibly. Concern for my family, Anneka starting school in a few weeks etc. Then the inward things of the heart that God is touching. Hurtful things, but things I need to face.

Ya know what would be good right now? Hawaii!

Anyone wanna come? We'll pull a "Thelma and Louise". I'll bring the kerchiefs for our hair.