Getting settled

I don't think we're doing too badly for having just moved in today. I mean, the kitchen is pretty much unpacked. The living room is coming along, and the toy room just needs various bags of toys dumped in the appropriate bins. Our bedroom is basically done, except for my clothes. (Jason's are all done, of course) Jason still has to assemble Anneka and Aila's bunk beds, and that's a good 2 hour job.

Anyway, here I am. In Ottawa. I still can't quite say how I feel. I think we've been too busy to actually stop and think about it. I'm curious to walk down my street and explore...but there are other things to do first. Once we're unpacked.....

Getting unpacked is this huge goal in my head. Beyond it is nothing but a black hole. I can't see life beyond it. It's kinda like planning a wedding....do you ever stop to think about what life will continue to be like once you get back from the honeymoon? You can't really even fathom it. You know reality will hit, and life will roll on as per usual...but since you haven't experienced it....you can't imagine it quite right. I'm waiting for this reality to hit me. Waiting for the tears to come. I want them to come. I want to be in this moment, and feel all there is to feel. I want to feel it so that I can move past it and experience the next feeling. I want to grieve so that I can begin to move forward. But even typing that phrase just now "move forward" causes this wave of nausea to come over me. I can't imagine moving forward so far from my family. My friends. My LIFE!

Growing up just SUCKS! : P