The No-Whine Countdown

In just over 2 weeks, we will have lived in Ottawa for 2 years!! Amazing! I can't believe it. In one way it's gone fast, yet in another its gone so slow. Some days feel alone and sad, while others buzz by with contentment and satisfaction. My heart can feel so full some days, and ache on others.

My Mom was here for 5 days and just left yesterday. As we were driving through our neighborhood, I couldn't help thinking "I like living here." I was so thankful to be in this lovely city. There are just so many blessings, and God has been SO faithful to us! Yes...there are still many times of grieving a lifetime of roots now gone, but there are so many blessings as well. Re-establishing a tree in a new place takes time. Roots take time.

Jason told me that as of August 1, we as a family are no longer permitted to whine about how hard it is to live here relationally. No more complaints. No more saying "Ottawa sucks". Instead, we should say things like "Ottawa is an adventure!" Jason says that it's like cursing ourselves every time we reinforce a negative feeling by consistently verbalizing the negative over and over again. I told him that was dumb. Just kidding. I think he's probably right.

Not sure if I can swear off whining completely....but I've made this promise to myself.

No more crying. No more spilling tears. No more repeatedly asking some to please please please invite us over. The fact is, sometimes you feel a connection with people...and you desire to pursue relationship. If you (or they!) don't feel that 'click', you don't feel as inclined to pursue. I understand that completely....as I am very relational, but I need to FEEL a click or connection with people. I'm assuming that others may just not feel that with us as well. You just can't make people be, or do what you desperately desire. It is what it is, and all I can do is open the doors of my home, throw out the invitation to relationship...and if it's returned...rejoice! If it isn't....to move on to those other relationships to which we feel a drawing.

Jason has made some great friends...and I have made some too. We haven't found a family that pursues relationship with us, as we do with them...where both spouses connect, and our kids do too. But I am so so so thankful for the wonderful buds of relationship I'm finding...and even more thankful for Jason's friendships. Jason has never had consistency in friendship like this in his life. What a gift! If Winnipeg was my Mecca for relationship, Ottawa is Jason's Friendship Mecca. And that is the most wonderful gift to us!

Funnily...just after I finished writing this, a couple that we have tried to pursue for a number of months called to invite us over!! Maybe there is something to be said for simply 'letting go'!! : )