Tonight

Tonight we went to church as usual. It's a small gathering of some really cool people. The message feels like-hearted, and the worship is good too.

During the worship a guy had walked in by accident and ended up pouring out his heart to one of the guys in our group. We then had the awesome opportunity to give the entire offering to this man, walk him across the street to the grocery store, and buy groceries for his wife and children. It was such a sweet time together.

There were 2 great guys leading worship. Just 2 guitars and someone on percussion. So nice.

But at home....I began to cry.

I just wanted those 2 guys leading worship to be Johan and Joel.

I miss Johan's quiet "aww-shucks" grin. I miss Joel's big bear hugs, and how I connect so easily when he worships. I miss Brian making indistinguishable eye gestures at us from across the room. I miss Stephanie and Kristi's sister-like smiles. I miss Corrie's quiet strength. I miss how Shane's entire face lights up with a grin when he sees us. I miss Harv's goofy laugh. I miss Shannon's viola playing that sounds like honey tastes. I miss Sue's "How are you?'s" that are always genuine. I miss the gaggle of Guse's that walk into SHOP like ducks in a row, and then astound me with their worship and devotion. I miss hearing Dr. Roman pray for the sick. I miss Deanna more than I could have ever imagined (and her children who never smile at me). I hate that Joyska is finally home, but I'm not there to enjoy it.


I miss my church.