The Weekend

Well...most of you know by now that Jason was in Winnipeg for Onething! this weekend. (It was a surprise visit!!) He had a great time, and since everyone we know attended the conference for at least one session...he saw most everyone! (There were a few people who didn't make it to any sessions...so he was sad to miss some of them..)

While Jason was having a fun time with 600 Winnipeg friends, worshiping with IHOP bands, and being filled up spiritually...I was having the worst weekend ever.

I went to something here called "The Gathering". It's a yearly worship event, where they meet at the hockey arena and worship and pray for the city of Ottawa. There were 4000 there.

I was so overwhelmed with the fact that I knew no one. And worse...no one knew me. There is something so beautiful about "knowing, and being known". Living in one place my whole life....I took for granted that familiarity could be my closest friend. Yes...I felt a lot of loneliness sometimes in Winnipeg.....the frustration of knowing SO many people...yet feeling alone. However, if I ever desired connection...it was only a short drive away. I had the option to find connection.

HERE....there is nothing. I didn't know the band at "The Gathering". (very important to me, because in worship, there is a trust element. Who is this leader...and where will they take me? Can I trust their leading? etc) I didn't know some of the songs (strange sensation!) and more than that....I was a meaningless face in a sea of faces. On top of that....they were praying for a city that really has little meaning to me. Prayer for HOME is easy....prayer for a place that only feels odd and awkward...that was tough.

Ottawa is a very hard city. Maybe it's because many are financially "okay", and there is less need. In Winnipeg, almost every friend I had was struggling financially. This kind of constant struggle causes you to not only desire friendship, but FIGHT for a deep well and wealth in relationship. Winnipeg may be poor compared to Ottawa, but it has wealth in relationship. It is easy to meet, and go deep with people in Wpg. It doesn't take long to get personal, to hear about pain, to hear life's details.

IT IS NOT LIKE THAT HERE!

People just simply don't talk about things that are personal. The majority of people I've met here...well...simply don't give a damn about knowing me! (or anyone else for that matter!) You can meet a group of people...and no one will ask a thing about you. Beyond "what's your name? Were do you live? (status) and What's your job? (status)
And when they ask your job...they simply want to know your title...and they don't care anything about what you do. No details necessary.

Wpg people have said lovely things to me.....like "Ottawa has no idea who's coming!!!!" and what I've learned is that "Ottawa doesn't give a rat's ass who's coming!"

I have gotten strange bug-eyed looks from people when I meet someone new. I ask questions! "Who are you? How many kids? Where did you and your husband meet?"I want to know you!!! I am that "strange Winnipegger".

So what's the good part of Ottawa? (that I realized Sunday evening)

I have met some amazing people.....with whom I have something in common. (besides loving Jesus and our passion for wholehearted worship and pursuit of Him) We are all immigrants. Well..okay...Manitoba to Ontario isn't exactly immigrant status....but the other's I've met are not only new to Ottawa, but new to Canada. They are facing the same culture shock that I am. Mark and Beth, Joel and Mary Ann....they are from the Philippines, and are finding the same relational barricades here. They desire to connect with people.....but find people are not interested in connecting back.

The fact that we have found each other....is a total God-gift. The other thing we have in common is that we have stepped away from large friendship circles. Joel was a successful business man, and also an actor (doing many tv ads and voice overs in the Philippines!) Beth ran a successful advertising firm. Mark was a sought-after speaker and pastor/teacher. Here....they have nothing. No friends, no reputation, no companies, no chauffeured driven cars to pick them up for important meetings. I had none of that...but being a worship leader, and visible in leadership, I could count on someone at least saying "hello" to me at any Christian function. If I was lonely in any setting, I could just look around and find someone to chat with. Joel & Mary Ann, Mark & Beth....they are dealing with this too! We had to laugh last night. "We are big fat nobodies....together! And everyone around may not know that we're worth knowing...but we do!!!" What a great and humbling lesson for all of us.

So even tho I spent most of the weekend repeatedly crying off my makeup....it ended amazingly....with a small group of what I am beginning to be able to call "friends".