Wise Words

My journey over the last 2 years has been incredible. Incredibly life giving, but incredibly difficult. During stress or emotional turmoil, my past hangups always come a'knockin. It's during these times that I have to stop and remind myself of my journey, and all I've learned. Today I really started to re-visit that knowledge, and apply it to my "recently emergent old patterns".

Today I was thinking about reacting and responding. Anyone who knows me will know which one I'm a pro at. I can react with lightening speed. It's always been a struggle, but a wise friend once taught me this:

An overreaction to any situation is simply a sign of deep seeded hurt. You are actually reacting to a far off hurt that is triggered in the present situation.

This is a key thing to remember in relationships, especially marriage. Guys, if your wife flies off the handle at something little, it's not the "little something" she's reacting to. We've all experienced this. But it's true of both sexes. We all wear these invisible filters over our ears and hearts. We filter words and actions through this 'pain filter', and tend to hear the very thing we are sensitive to, and fear hearing. We can sift at an unbelievable speed through information, and ignore parts, receive others, and hear something totally different than the intended meaning.

So it's one thing to remember this fact about the person across from you.... (Knowing why your spouse is reacting in a way that doesn't 'suit the crime') but it's an art to be aware of your own responses, and quickly decide what is actually just a past hurt being triggered again.

Then comes the hard part. Am I strong enough to face that hurt or fear?

The same 'wise woman' once said something else to me:

Either you can choose to be free, or choose to not be. It's up to you. You can choose.
So choose.