Monday, February 4, 2008
Moving on
Okay...so having Renee move away has been harder than I anticipated. I kinda thought I could just look at the perks, and not miss her so much. By perks, I mean: Having a guest room, more room in my cupboard, an extra drawer in the fridge etc. Yeah...not working. hehe.
Her room is empty, and I keep the door closed. I don't like it empty. I mentioned decorating it for guests, and Anneka got upset. She's not ready yet. She doesn't like when we mention Renee. Ah yes...my little denial clone. "It makes me sad to think about her. So don't talk about her right now." Poor thing.
Otherwise, work has been slow...which is nice. It seems that God knows when I need a break (or a slow time) and my work flow adjusts. Sometimes I just need a break from "pressure to do", and just take some time to "be".
In other news, we've started worshiping with friends once in a while in our home. It's been so refreshing. Its just a small group, but safe. It feels like "home" to have people over. I've always loved that...having people over, but specifically having people worship in our home. I want it to be a place of peace, safety, and encounter. And I think God has been moving in people...which is SO exciting! The more I'm here...the more I realize that I only desire one thing. To truly encounter Jesus, and facilitate others encountering Him too.
So often I'm struck by the realization that I just don't know Him...that I fall so short. I see that I'm so self centred....broken, and consumed with whatever is causing me pain in life. Having people encounter Him in my home focuses me. It gets me out of my own head....and looking outward and upward.
It's a good thing.
Her room is empty, and I keep the door closed. I don't like it empty. I mentioned decorating it for guests, and Anneka got upset. She's not ready yet. She doesn't like when we mention Renee. Ah yes...my little denial clone. "It makes me sad to think about her. So don't talk about her right now." Poor thing.
Otherwise, work has been slow...which is nice. It seems that God knows when I need a break (or a slow time) and my work flow adjusts. Sometimes I just need a break from "pressure to do", and just take some time to "be".
In other news, we've started worshiping with friends once in a while in our home. It's been so refreshing. Its just a small group, but safe. It feels like "home" to have people over. I've always loved that...having people over, but specifically having people worship in our home. I want it to be a place of peace, safety, and encounter. And I think God has been moving in people...which is SO exciting! The more I'm here...the more I realize that I only desire one thing. To truly encounter Jesus, and facilitate others encountering Him too.
So often I'm struck by the realization that I just don't know Him...that I fall so short. I see that I'm so self centred....broken, and consumed with whatever is causing me pain in life. Having people encounter Him in my home focuses me. It gets me out of my own head....and looking outward and upward.
It's a good thing.
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1 comment:
I miss you guys so much... all of you.
Especially now, I wish I was back in the safety and covering of our house. It's so weird to think that it's "your" house now and that I live in "my" house. It hurts that they're not the same place.
I love you guys.
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