yvonne parks: She's just not that into you...

WHO

Hi there. I'm Yvonne, and I'm a wife, Mom of 2 and business chick. Welcome!

I started this blog 17 years ago, back when most people said "What's a Blog?" (and before Facebook!) Well, I'm still here maintaining this blog when I can, simply to continue archiving all the memories that I have invested here. :)

We moved to Ottawa in August of 2007, but I've spent the previous years of my life in a city called Winnipeg (Ever heard of it?) I've been a worship leader for over 33 years, and I often say that "I don't really like music...I just love worship"

If you like, you click on the CD in the right column of this blog, and hear clips of my album "Only One Love".

And work? I have a small graphic design company (www.pearcreative.ca) specializing in Book Cover Design and marketing materials. I love love LOVE my job!

I share my adventures with my incredible husband of 25 years (Jason) and our two gorgeous daughters aged 16 and 19.

(updated 2019)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

She's just not that into you...

Ever tried to extend friendship to someone, only to have it fall flat??

There are a couple women in my life with whom I'm having this issue. It's rare for me to find someone with whom I instantly feel a "click" with. I meet a lot of women, and most of the time, it's kinda difficult for me to connect. (I find it much easier to talk to men) I have a really close friend here, but she's super busy...and I find myself lonly. Alot.

So when I do find a girl that I think I could really have a friendship with, I make some 'friendly-attempts'. It's kinda like ping-pong...I serve over an email or a phone call..(ping!) and wait for a response (pong!). Except, instead of a friendly "pong" back, I get nothing. I instigate a couples-get-together....(ping!) and we have a nice time...but then I don't hear anything (no pong). They'll say "Yeah...let's have coffee!!" and then never make an attempt to contact me again. If I do all the work, they would I guess...but who says I should have to BEG for a coffee?? C'mon now?!

In both cases, I think I've been pre-judged. One thinks I'm some crazy Fundamentalist Christian, (which I think she sees as being as bad as being a fundamentalist Jihad-ist Muslim) and I think that's the reason she doesn't call for coffee when she's in town. The other has been hurt by the church, and after hearing that Jason and I were once church leadership, she (I think?) expects me to slaughter her at any moment. Oh...and one of them suggested that Jason and I are 'too young'.

I feel like I'm in some bizarro dating world. These are two chicks who I really like....who I think I could have some great talks with. They have substance, are creative, smart and funny.

Maybe they are way too busy for another friend?
or maybe they just don't see anything in me worth 'befriending'.

I guess it would be weird for me to get references hey? You know...call some Winnipeg friends and get them to write a letter. "Yvonne is a great friend!" or something.

Why does this one area of life in Ottawa seem to be so challenging?????

11 comments:

Ren said...: I'll write you a reference!!!

I'm so sorry that Ottawa's hard political edge even rubs off on people so much that something as everyday as trying to make friends is hard. :/

I love you!; 10:24 p.m.
Yvonne Parks said...: Ren...yes! It's like a job interview! (I've never had one of those, so I never learned how to do it right!) haha; 9:14 a.m.
Brigitte said...: Hey they just don't know what they are missing...
hugs; 10:02 a.m.
Anonymous said...: Yvonne, have you tried getting involved at the girls school? I have found that has always been helpful as you are usually with like minded, concerned parents and you may make a connection there. I feel for you, there is no doubt it is very hard, like grade school all over again!; 10:55 a.m.
Debi said...: Trust me -- it's NOT just "Ottawa"!!!! I can totally relate and I loved the 'ping pong' analogy!!! I'm thinking you should come back to KC and have coffee with me -- that is IF you want to! LOL; 11:23 a.m.
Jennifer said...: Keep trying Yvonne. I have the same thing happen down here in NC. I had 2 potential friend relationships fail for whatever reason. I could guess, or call them, but I just wonder.; 11:45 a.m.
Lynne said...: It sounds like it is a "life" problem not a "location" problem by all the comments.

You are an amazing friend and awesome to hang around with. "They" just don't know it yet.

You are definitely worth befriending and I know you said that strictly out of hurt.

I am sorry about all of that.

Maybe it is like wanting to have a child so bad and it doesn't happen. When we were trying to have Hudson and we tried for a year and 3 months, I began to lay it down and not think about it day in and day out and then I got pregnant. It was such a surprise.

I bet when you least expect it, God will surprise you. I pray into that for you. Keep encouraged, it will happen.

You are a beautiful woman and a friend worth having!; 11:52 a.m.
Anonymous said...: Hey Yvonne!

I would like to be your friend!! Even after the couples-thing!

Funny thing is, I've been thinking about the coffee thing in advance of reading your blog. We should make plans!

See you tonight!
Leigh-Ann; 12:12 p.m.
Yvonne Parks said...: Debi..

I'D LOVE TO COME TO KC...alas...planes are so darn expensive!!!! :(; 2:54 p.m.
April Ellis said...: Hey, you have a friend over here hun. I'd love to move to Canada. Lets be neighbours!; 6:33 a.m.
Jennifer said...: hey- after being in this area for 6 years I just made my first friend - at church! Still no locals. But she is a prof so se is super busy and it's not like we can chat on the phone or go for coffees. It's just the first person in the area who reciprocates liking. Nice. Be glad you didn't move here.; 1:45 p.m.