It's all about the heart...

Lately I've witnessed a couple situations in which people have become offended by the words or actions of others. Since I've been on the outside of these situations, I have tried to stand back and watch the reactions of people who are offended.

Offense makes us say really harsh things. We are so quick to assume the worst about a person. We throw around words like "arrogant" or "insensitive"... "ignorant" or "judgmental". A person who we once considered a friend becomes the recipient of rather harsh character traits.

I've been on both sides of these issues for many years. I've been hurt, and then assumed the worst about people. (therefore, judging their motivation, assuming that the reason they did what they did was because of their arrogance or ignorance) I've also been misunderstood, and had people say horrible things about me....and my intentions.

In all of these instances....there is one common denominator. Misunderstanding.

No, he didn't mean to fatally wound me. She wasn't out to break my heart and isolate me. They weren't really acting out of arrogance, and I wasn't the one they were thinking about when they said that.

I've learned a very important thing:

We must always always look at someone's HEART!

In one instance when I was hurt, I immediately (and naturally) assumed that the person's motivation was nothing but pure evil. Okay...maybe not evil, but they certainly were throwing around words that I was sure were meant just to puncture my innocent heart. They were bad people....I was a victim. Of course, this wasn't accurate...but by the way I felt about them in my heart....you would have thought they had just sprouted horns and a tail.

Firstly....if I had called this person "friend" just hours before...wouldn't that make me a really bad judge of character? I should pick my friends more carefully perhaps...

OR

Perhaps I wasn't correct in my perception. Perhaps they were just broken people, and perhaps their intent wasn't as evil and malicious as I thought. Perhaps they weren't trying to be hurtful, prideful, mean, or push me down. Perhaps they were making the best decision they could in that moment, and it truly wasn't intended to wound me. Perhaps they were just like me....and perhaps they were misunderstood too.

In these situations, I try really hard to immediately take a step back and ask myself "Ok...stop. What is their heart?"

Is their heart really to be a prideful jerk? Is their heart to hurt me? Is their heart really that dark? that sinister? Or maybe...their heart is really quite good. Maybe wounded...maybe fearful...maybe frustrated by life...maybe misunderstood, and maybe feeling defensive. Maybe...just maybe...

It's so important to judge people by their heart....by the good things they've contributed to your life instead of the one harsh word or situation of misunderstanding.

It is really all about the heart...