Be Angry, Sin Not

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
Ephesians 4:26 (The Message)

Aila (age 5) has been learning how to handle her frustration. Usually she'd just cry, whine, stomp, cry, and whine some more. Now, she is getting more creative.

On Sunday, after Jason told her that she could not do something...she went into her bedroom, and slammed the door. We waited to see what she'd do next, before dealing with the 'door slamming' issue. Soon we heard the door open, and a piece of paper come flying out of the room into the hallway, and then the door slammed again. This is what we found.

That's the word "Daddy" done 3 times (until she felt she had done it correctly). And a broken heart.

Jason went into talk to Aila and said "Lets talk about your drawing, Aila. You wrote my name on it, and then a broken heart, and someone crying. Is that you crying?"

"NO..." she said "That's me sticking my tongue out and saying 'Pthhhhhh' to YOU! Cuz I'm Mad at YOU!!!!" (ah yes..now we see the spit flying from the tongue in the drawing)

Jason's heart was broken. I went in to discuss the drawing with Aila. We had a talk about all the nice things that Daddy does for her...getting her hot chocolate every morning (even when she's demanding about it), making her breakfast (even when she complains about it being too hot), or buying her special things...loving loving loving. And what does she do? In a moment where she's upset, she makes a mean drawing (essentially saying "f-you, Dad") and how that broke her Daddy's heart.

"Aila...it's okay to be mad. It's okay to feel frustrated...but you must never be mean to another person. THAT is not okay. It's never okay to hurt someone just because you are angry. After all the wonderful ways that Daddy shows you he loves you, after the special date yesterday, you weren't just angry, you were hurtful...and you hurt Daddy's heart with this drawing."

I said this strongly a couple times, and then told her that she was to stay in her room until she can think of what the RIGHT thing to do would be right now.

After 5 minutes, she came out with her MagnaDoodle...having drawn this:

"Sare Dady" is her phonetic way of writing "Sorry Daddy"

She came into our room and said "Daddy...I'm soooo sorry I made that mean picture. I love you..."

It was very cute, and reminded us of when Anneka was little...and in a fit of anger she drew a picture of Jason, and then drew a massive black X through it, and left it on his desk.

Ah yes...the art of parenting. We want our kids to find constructive ways to be angry, that help them deal with the feelings, in a respectful way. It seems they both have chosen the "artist's" route.

We're gonna need more paint...