Hi there. I'm Yvonne, and I'm a wife, Mom of 2 and business chick. Welcome!
I feel sad.
I want to blog, but Jason thinks that all my blogs come across as "Ottawa sucks", and he doesn't want me to hurt people who live in Ottawa. There are some lovely people here, but other than them........there is a culture of how people interact that is very odd.
So what do I say? Honestly...I love this city. But I'm having a really hard time with the culture. I'd love to blog about it and get some feedback....but how honest can I be? (without being offensive?)
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we just feel very sorry that we can't make that pain go away. I wisk I could.
blog away, it helps me feel 'missed'.
Everything will be okay . . . you'll see.
it would be interesting to take a survey of people who have moved away from their home city for the first time and know how the adjustment went...how long it took to find their niche, get to know people and feel comfortable
Hi Yvonne,
Your friendly lurker here. I don't often comment, but.......
Moving away from home is the hardest adjustment, expecially when you have grown up being 'stationary'.
I moved to Calgary on my own when I was 21. I loved the city, I loved what it offered. But I was extremely home sick. I couldn't do it, I moved back to Winnipeg.
I have often thought how much I would love to go back because I just loved it there, but I know in my heart, I would still get home sick for Winnipeg.
I don't find your blogs come across as anti-Ottawa, but more of a really difficult adjustment to something that you have known for your whole life. To move out of your comfort zone is major. And like everything else, it is not a natural process, and has much resistance along the way.
I am sure your friends in Ottawa understand that it is not an issue with them, but the change as a whole. Discussing your issues allows you also to see all those things you find so positive about Ottawa.
I use my blog as an outlet for my emotions, positive and negative. It is a very healthy way to grieve changes. Repressing it would cause worse damage I think. I would hope my readers would see my blog as an outlet of emotions and not anything that is meant to be intentionally hurtful. That's the way I look at your blog.
Write away girl! Hugs to you my friend!
You have a nice home, a husband and 2 kids that are healthy. You have nothing to be sad about. Time to get some perspective and be thankful you don't have something real to be sad about, like a death, a terminal illness, rape, murder, etc.
How many people dream for a life like yours and would be satisfied with just part of it? God has blessed you and it's time to start thanking Him and counting those blessings.
I don't agree with anonymous. I think you have every right to feel sad.
Yes we should be thankful for the things we have. Yes we are blessed to not have to deal with death, illness, rape or murder.
Some of us have dealt with some of those things and have learned to be happy again.
Being sad does not discount our thankfulness for those blessings in our lives. We are emotional beings and our feelings are important and should not be so easily dismissed.
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
I'd love to respond to you in a private email(that would be less rude) but I can't because you chose to give your remark without showing your name.
If you knew me, you'd know that I am one of the most ridiculously thankful and upbeat people you've ever met. Grieving is not sin, and FEELING alone and separated from everyone who loves you is not being ungrateful.
And since you don't know me...you don't actually know about what I'm dealing with. Because I don't tend to dwell on the negative in this blog, you obviously don't know about the cancer in my family (both parents) and the quarterly visits where we hold our breath and pray that it hasn't returned. You may not know about my father's daily fight with Parkinsons...or what it's like to see your Daddy slowly being chipped away by a horrible disease. You don't know about the impending death of a loved one in my husbands family, or the pain of divorce and separation. You don't know about the addiction, financial devastation, or any other areas of our lives I suppose. But then again, I haven't been raped. I am truly grateful for that....Although a vast majority of adults were abused as children. Perhaps they may carry scars that are just as valid.
If you would truly like to "encourage" me, I'd gladly accept your wisdom...but if you choose to do so on MY blog....next time...use your name. For that, I'd be ever so grateful.
Way to go Yvonne! That's telling it! (To the person who wishes to stay un-known!)
As for me, I know exactly what you are going through. I came from Holland 48 years ago. I still feel homesick at times. Homesick for what I sometimes wonder about.
Everybody knows that I also am a very positive person, the most thankfull person and very much in love with your Dad and my children are the centre of my life.
I am happy with our home and everything that is in it. Even though everthing came to us at bargain prices but I know how to put things together.
But I do feel sad too sometimes, but it never takes a hold of me.
So.... how long did it take me to get used to the Canadian culture?
That depends on how much time you have, hahaha!
Love you sweet and many others love you too.
Mom
By the way people, look at my blog, it is all about, the Lord, my family, some funny stuff, my grandchildren and a tribute to Yvonne.
My life is just wrapped around those things, not around sicknesses, or dissapointments, those things are just for a season.
I know for a fact that the apple does not fall far from the tree!
Anonymous... you have acted in a very cold and callous manner, and should be ashamed of yourself.
If you want to make such horrible comments, at least have the guts to use your name.
Pain is pain. You can't put it on a scale. Yvonne's thoughts and feelings about her move are just as valid as someone else's thoughts and feelings on what THEY'VE been through.
Moving away from everyone and everything you've EVER known is a huge thing.
I am appalled at the audacity of your comments.
And for the record, I say this as one who has been through some of the very things you mention, so don't think I don't know what it's like to suffer.
ANONYMOUS:
As Yvonne's closest friend in Ottawa (not to discount the other close friends she has made since moving here, but I insist on special recognition :) I can say with certainty that your comment is inaccurate and unfair. I hope it is true that you don't actually know her and that she does not call you ‘friend’.
As her friend, I would be very concerned about her if she were NOT sad at this time in her life. Moving from her home, from everything and everyone that she knows, loves and feels comfortable with SHOULD invoke feelings of sadness, loneliness and longing. I grew up in Wpg and it took me years to adjust to Ottawa, even with the 'benefit' of being thrown into a new school where there are lots of people around all the time.
I believe God places challenges and struggles in our path because He loves us so much that He wants us to have the opportunity to grow and learn and never become stagnant.
My husband was a drug addict and I lived many long years in suffering (see the last post on my blog). In what can only be described as a miracle, God has restored my marriage, my husband is amazing, I have wonderful kids, a beautiful home and a fabulous job. Through my experience I am now able to help other people who are going through the same thing.
Does that mean that my life is now perfect? Absolutely not, I am frequently faced with challenges and I sometimes struggle to overcome them. My current struggles are small in comparison to my struggles 4 years ago, but they are real and I have to face them.
Fortunately I have wonderful friends (such as Yvonne) who are willing and able to share their experiences in overcoming similar challenges. I respect Yvonne for being willing to talk about her sadness. I admire her upbeat positive outlook on life, but I also respect her willingness to be ‘real’ and show her sorrow and struggles to the world, instead of hiding behind what can be perceived as her ‘perfect’ life.
I pray right now that God will reach you, Anonymous, whereever you are. and touch your heart. I pray that your comments, if they are rooted in your own pain and sorrow, that God would minister to you, in that place and begin the healing process. I pray that you will be surrounded by friends who love you and are willing to be real with you. I pray that you will understand the fullness of His love for you and His deepest desires for you, that you would know that on the other side of our struggles lies victory and that victory belongs to ALL OF US!
...I guess that prayer isn't just for anonymous, but for everyone, for all who visit here.
Hey Yvonne,
Not that you need another person telling you this. But I thought I represent a pretty unbiased opionon. I don't feel like your blogs have an "Ottawa-Sucks" tone/feel. I just see a woman grieving a community she loved. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
Loraleigh
PS i'm not the annon. person I just don't know how to post comments using my name.
Yvonne, as an Ottawa person who actually reads your blog (and enjoys it - I don't read too many non-theological blogs too, so that must say something) I don't feel like you pick on Ottawa. I appreciate your honest wrestling with a tough transition. I find that every person is different and how they deal with lifes events are always just as different. You are coping and I think (maybe I'm wrong) that blogging is part of how cope. Go for it.
As someone who truly understands (even though I'm ONLY FOUR hours away!lol)........keep blogging! I need to hear that someone else struggles! :) I love KC for the city, but my heart still aches for 'home'.
Hugs my friend! And..if you choose not to blog about it all, then e-mail me! LOL :)
Debi
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