Calling out the Treasure

I know, it's been a long time. But I think life is so busy (and Facebook so awesome) that blogging takes a back seat! But today I just had some thoughts to share.

Aila has had some trouble in school. In June, a troubled child threatened to 'slit Aila's throat', and when the school did nothing, we stepped in. This incident has precipitated a lot of changes and struggles. First, we removed Aila from the school because the school refused to remove the child. Aila was just supposed to go back the next day like nothing was wrong. What?! The troubled child was given sessions with a counsellor, other support was sent to "assist her" in how to deal better with her rage issues. But Aila was sent home crying, and nothing more was done. Zero support offered. This was the tipping point for a kid who was generally anxious. But this pushed things to a new level. The following days and weeks can only be described as 'hell', as we watched our girl have what we now can describe as a 'breakdown'. And we were devastated. We not only removed her from school for the remainder of the year, but ended up moving schools completely. (After a fight with the school board, and various notes from doctors supporting our request) The summer was long and full of angst, as Aila had a new anxiety/fear level that we had never seen before. She spent weeks seeing a life-saving therapist. My little girl was struggling so fiercely...and it was so hard to watch.

September came, and she entered a new school. However, anxiety doesn't leave when your surroundings change. So she still struggles with severe anxiety. One of the largest issues is how she responds to other kids. Because of the traumatic incident in the other school, she now is very mistrustful. Her first assumption is to feel unsafe. Instead of assuming she is loved and accepted, she assumes the opposite. What I love about Aila is that despite being hurt, she remains a soft-hearted kid. It's a lovely trait, but it leaves her open to wounding until she matures to find a balance that is healthy.

When there is conflict, or a child isn't kind....she doesn't cope well. What do you do when a kid is mean? When a kid tells her that her wolf shirt is 'dumb', or she is 'annoying'. How can she respond? (besides crying)

"Aila....call out the treasure in them!" I said.

 There is a truth that defuses the hardest heart. Hard hearts are hard for a reason: They have been wounded. A lot.

"Aila...you can help bring healing to a hard heart like this: Look deep into that person. It might be hard to find, but there is a treasure. There is something that is beautiful. Something that is special. They might have lovely blue eyes. They might be good at something. There is beauty in them even if they can't see it. That is their treasure. In some instances, the treasure might have been buried and replaced with a lie. They may believe they are ugly, but the truth...the treasure is that they are beautiful. God has made them special...and that is the truth. We have the ability to call that out! And it looks like this: You look into that person...you find that thing...you reach in....you pull it out....and you hold it in your hands and you show it to them. You show them that you SEE the treasure...and that you see it as special. And you do all that with a simple phrase in response to their negative comments. "Aila, your shirt is so dumb." *wait a few minutes and then return to them* "You are a really great artist. I love how you draw".  Don't give a glib compliment, but find a truth and speak it over them. That's how you call out the treasure. And it will defuse them. Love always wins."

Just talking with her about it reminded me of so many instances in my own life where someone called out the treasure in me. Or when I have searched deep and wide for the treasure in others. It reminded me to daily be calling out the treasure in my kids...in my husband. The power of speaking truth over people...its an amazing tool.

Try it! Love wins.... :)